2023 Year in Review

Events in rearview mirror are more or less significant than they appear

Top 9 Moments of 2023

1. Breakfasting in Datça, mute with indiscriminate peace

2. Driving to go swimming after a softball game, window down, cusp of summer

3. Observing three men load a charming instrument and an old man into a van on my birthday morning

4. Singing “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” in All Saint’s Church in Wittenberg in October

5. On the bench, waiting to bat during a pickup baseball game with the Boston Asian Men’s League

6. Watching my niece and nephew do deranged kiddie water ballet in the town pool

7. Getting a flower delivery from my mom for Groundhog Day

8. Stargazing at a meteor shower in Nova Scotia

9. One winter morning, thinking that the most luxurious things in the world are free

Birthday present from above: front-row tickets to a short, sweet, mysterious play

Fun/Odd/Soul-Affirming Experiences

• Going whale watching on a Zodiac in the Bay of Fundy

• Writing and directing an ‘80s aerobics video

• Playing beach volleyball in wintertime

• Listening to God one time even though I didn’t want to

• Telling one joke at an open mic night

• Parking on the Autobahn for two hours (traffic jam)

• Raiding a deceased man’s home, acquiring his toothbrush holder (estate sale)

• Attending the National Day of Mourning in Plymouth, MA on Thanksgiving

• Dressing up as a fuzzy toilet seat cover in my company’s Halloween costume contest

• Driving to Napa Valley with two strangers I met in line for lunch to find an elusive geyser

• Developing an arboretum prayer walk (happening Arbor Day 2024!)

• Getting baptized

• Getting berated at a comedy show for wearing a beret

• Getting Flaming Hot Cheeto residue in paper cuts

  

  

  Good times, weird times, you know I had my share

Edifying Ventures (aka Good Changes)

• Began Holy Hour every many Friday mornings (one hour dedicated to “luxuriating in God’s presence”) and Sabbathing every many Sundays

• Started volunteering regularly at Miracle Mile Ministries

• Rediscovered a love of Sports™️ (softball, soccer, volleyball, basketball, tennis)

• Started this Schlubstack! Wrote more schlong-form

• Started cold-press juicing anything remotely juicy I can get my hands on (predominately celery)

• Assumed responsibilities for the hospitality ministry at church, i.e. became COO of donuts and coffee

• Somewhat untethered myself from my phone (still putting the “vice” in device)

• Downloaded the Magic 8 Ball app and started using it to make decisions

• Learned how to stop on ice skates

  

  Always Be Improving Incrementally

Failures/Regrets

• Interrupted Bible study with an oven fire on pizza night. Fire department came…

• Not buying a Granny Smith green and silver metallic shift dress that stopped me on the sidewalk in Berlin

• Losing my cool at tennis (tantrums)

• Private errors (copious)

  

  Missed connection

Coolest Things I Saw

1. Anne Frank Huis

2. All Saint’s Church and tombs of Martin Luther and Melanchthon

3. Taylor Swift Eras Tour

4. Easter service at the Westerkerk

5. Nuremberg courtroom

6. Lands End and the camera obscura

7. Amsterdam brown bars

8. Standup comedy in Berlin

9. Tiny Tim’s final resting place

10. Oktoberfest in Munich

11. A yacht named Su

12. Tourist boat crashed into house boat in Amsterdam canal

13. UGHHHH vanity plate

🆒

Best Things I Consumed

1. Lamb broth with lemon juice and chili pepper

2. Mett (pillowy cured raw pork) and ossenworst (pillowy cured raw beef)

3. Turkish breakfast (especially candied orange peel)

4. Ayran with mint, Aegean Sea-adjacent

5. Irish coffee at the Buena Vista

   

   

   Delectablés

Most Baffling/Thrilling Things I Consumed

1. Spaghetti-O, Flaming Hot Cheeto, and Fruit Loop hot dog

2. Bagged gas station hot dog

🎶 I'm still standin' 🎶

Worst Thing I Consumed (Relatively)

Dutch pancake with bacon toupee

This pancake contributes nothing nutritionally or existentially

Best Things I Bought Or Was Given

1. Patent-pending citrus juice gizmo from a flohmarkt

2. Dior nail glow

3. Brazilian-leather summer loafers

4. Cellphone jail cell

5. Stick of butter hairpin

6. Various produce and flowers

7. New ice skates

8. BUH-BYE!!!! luggage tag

9. Vintage lucite bookends

10. Sand dollar clock with Roman numerals

Best Books I Read

NOVEL: Miriam*

NOVELLA: The English Understand Wool

NON-FICTION: The Letters of John Cheever

POETRY: Bright Shade

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Ex-Wife, I Am Homeless If This Is Not My Home, A Life’s Work, The Great Transition

*This book was independently published with a limited print—a hardcover edition appears to be coming out Fall 2024!

“Miriam destroyed Sunday afternoons.” “Miriam tilted her head; malice on a stalk.” “Miriam wanted to stab him with questions.” “Miriam detached with ease; her life was one long loud Velcro release from the world.”

Worst Least Favorite Book I Read

Avid Reader: A Life by Robert Gottlieb (#ironic)

Best Things I Watched

1. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

2. The Holdovers

3. Point Break

4. Big Night

5. Beavis and Butthead on a plane

Worst Least Favorite Things I Watched

1. Fleishman is in Trouble (Abhorred the book, too. More like Fleishman is overrated!)

2. Barbie on account of it was a Chevy commercial

Looking Ahead…